Sweetly Broken

Wow. What a weekend. And just heading home from the 'main event' didn't mean that God was done talking to me. Not that He really ever stops....but whatever.

So I arrive home for about 30minutes before it was time to head to church for youth group. What a night. I'm still processing this whole weekend where God has really been ministering to me. Well the song choices by the youth band were so totally God. First we sang "Be unto Your Name". Some of the lines are "We are a moment, You are forever.... We are a vapor, You are eternal....We are the broken, You are the healer. Jesus, Redeemer, mighty to save. You are the love song we'll sing forever bowing before You, blessing Your name." Whoa.... doesn't that sum it all up? What else do we need? Why does the human side of us keep getting it's ugly little face in there trying to talk us out of trusting God COMPLETELY. Doubt, guilt, becoming overwhelmed etc etc etc.... who hasn't dealt with all of that. But God is so much bigger than that.

So the second song is the one that just keeps surfacing at interesting times. It's like it's God's nudge to tell me He is here, I'm on the right path and He loves me.

"Sweetly Broken"

It's the last song the youth group played before I headed off to Guatemala last year. Then it was the first song the YWAM worship team sang in Guatemala. That was the less than 24 hours after we had prayerfully decided to throw all of our plans out the window and follow where God was leading. Pretty much the song had the same effect on me that night as it did on me this night. WOW.

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of it's suffering I do drink
Of it's work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus:

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

Wow. I don't think that will ever fully sink in to my brain this side of Heaven. He loved me so much that He died on the cross while I was still a filthy wretched sinner. Then the song talks about His tenderness. You 'beckon me', 'gently', 'sweetly broken' yet 'wholly surrendered'. I don't know, maybe it just me that it impacts like this. But that's just fine if that's the case. We are each individual and unique in His sight.

"How wondrous Your redeeming love and how great is Your faithfulness". The love of a Father. That was the theme of the Exodus Conference that I went to this weekend. The Pursuit of the Father. Exodus is Christian organization that ministers to those who have dealt with or deal with same sex attractions. They also minister to parents, spouses and friends of those who deal with same sex attractions. Listening to everyone's story is one of the most encouraging parts of these weekends. Hearing other's struggles and then their healing journey they are on in the loving arms of their Heavenly Father. That's what it comes down to. Seeking love, affirmation, acceptance, compassion, comfort, etc. So why shouldn't the one that created those needs fulfill them?

The other interesting part of the weekend was my finger. I had traumatized it earlier in the week but Sunday morning the tendon pulled of the bone. What makes this interesting in this context is what follows. Saturday night the speaker was talking about if you wall off your heart in one area of life you basically affect the whole thing. And I began to ponder that. He was so completely right. I have not had a healthy set of emotions lately. Life has made me hard, my job makes me even harder. So my prayer was that the Lord would do something about that. So in the instant the tendon popped off the bone the roller-coaster of emotions began. I didn't want to cry in front of people though. So I kept it stuffed in all day. Oops. Don't try to stop something you asked God for. When the youth group sang those afore mentioned songs the flood gates opened and I felt my heart softening. It was the culmination of the entire weekend.

Why Sweetly Broken spoke to me so powerfully again was because of a video we watch Saturday afternoon at our breakout session. It was a message that had been delivered by Ken Hutcherson. His talk was "A Precious Stone out of the Darkness". He shared the story of the Alma King. It's a really huge awesome crystal. Ken drew a great mental image of how the crystal formed over time with heat and pressure but was unknown to the world until the miner reached down into the hole he opened up and brought it out. Now it is proudly displayed for the world to see.

"Lees extracted, cleaned, and restored a specimen now known as the “Alma King.” It’s a two-foot-high plate of rock covered with thousands of glittering prisms of clear quartz and decorated with crystals of dark sphalerite and blue fluorite. Near the center, as if placed by an artist and contrasting vividly against a white, needle-quartz matrix, is a perfect 4.25-inch “rhombi of translucent, deep red, gem-quality rhodochrosite. Many experts acclaim the Alma King as the finest and most valuable mineral specimen ever mined in North America. Some rank it with the best ever mined in the world."

Ken equated that to our lives. Our lives have made us who we are. God knows what He is doing and values each of us as precious stones. The pressures and trials in our lives have made us who we are today. They aren't a mistake. He said the miner doesn't look at his treasure then go bury it back in the earth to hide it from the view of others. Also he had us ponder the thought that if the miner had found the crystal before it had spent as much time in the pressures of the earth it wouldn't have been as beautiful as it is today. I know this explanation is terrible compared to his 40 minute sermon. But it really spoke to me. Sometimes I question God as to why I have dealt with what I have in my life. But He is revealing His purposes to me. I am usable in the His Kingdom. In fact He WANTS to use me.

Sweetly Broken.